To attend or not to attend, that is the question.
The SisterSpace Weekend, an "Annual Celebration of Women's Music, Community, and Culture," is a girls-only camping festival held over the weekend in MD, with entertainment by lesbian artists, musicians, stand-up comedians, etc. There is dancing, water activities, hiking, activities for the kids, and workshops all weekend long. The website touts the Weekend as "one of the longest running lesbian festivals in the USA." Previously known as the Lesbian Feminist Weekend, the weekend has evolved from a self-defense weekend for women (in the 1970s) to an "intimate party for 500 women", with "a full slate of performances on both Friday and Saturday nights, entertaining and life-enhancing workshops, an awesome dance party, wonderful merchants and craftswomyn, plus bodyworkers, sports, drumming, and more. The Weekend provides the chance to connect and create community with hundreds of women from all over the Mid-Atlantic region and beyond."
Here is my conundrum. As a single woman, would I have attended this festival? Absolutely. No question. As a married woman and mom? Mmmm.... hard to say. Is it appropriate? I don't know. It seems like it would be a really fun weekend to play, make some new friends, to be ok with being a queer woman in a safe environment. To meet other lesbians and lesbian couples and be myself.
For the record, this is not an issue of being afraid of physical temptation. This step, if I take it, is not about physical attraction - it is about understanding and exploring my self-identity as a woman who loves women. I don't want a girlfriend or a NCMO partner. I know and trust myself, and I feel absolutely no temptation to go there.
What I am afraid of is meeting new people, leaving my comfort zone, of opening up my past and looking honestly at who I am inside. That frightens me.
I just don't know. And I have until July 18th to figure it all out (or Aug. 17, if I pay the late registration cost).