Recent interactions with my family and some FB messages back and forth with grade school classmates have served as triggers recently, of abuse I thought I had blissfully forgotten. I've been dealing with some really ugly dreams flashing back to memories of a time in my life when I was utterly powerless. They spill over into my waking hours, and I feel lost in my own life.
This song came on my Pandora player yesterday. Its one that I would often play when I was in grad school, particularly when I was feeling frustrated and helpless and wanted to allow myself to feel the anger.
How You Remind Me, by Nickelback
Never made it as a wise man,
Couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing.
Tired of living like a blind man,
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling.
And this is how you remind me.
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am.
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am.
It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking.
And I've been wrong, i've been down,
been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
scream, "are we having fun yet?"
It's not like you didn't know that
I said I love you and I swear I still do.
And it must have been so bad
Cause living with me must have damn near killed you
And this is how, you remind me
Of what I really am.
This is how, you remind me
Of what I really am.
It's not like you to say sorry,
I was waiting on a different story.
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking.
And I've been wrong, I've been down,
been to the bottom of every bottle.
These five words in my head
scream, "are we having fun yet?"
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