Friday, January 7, 2011

Snippets of my life on the way to Pocatello

This post was originally started in September, but I forgot about it and just found it. Enjoy!

Scene 1:
On an airport tarmac, next in line for take-off.

le P: Mom, I have to pee.
Me (Flipping through the magazine; to MrC): It looks like the in-air internet costs $12. So not worth it.
le P: Mom, I have to peeeeeeeeee.
MrC: Well, lets just hope le Petite takes a nap. (to le Petite) Hey, bud, look! Your seat has movies on it!
le P: Daddy, I have to use the potty.
MrC: You just went before we got on the plane. Can you wait for take-off?
Me (to MrC): The fasten seat-belt sign is on, and we will be taking off in about a minute. . .
le P: Oops.
Me: What's that smell?
MrC (Looking at his watch): Its going to be a long 5 hours.
Me: Its probably too early for a beer, huh?
Scene 2: In a parking lot underneath the SLC airport.

le P:
I want a yellow car!
Enterprise guy (Looks to be about 20 years old, and is dressed in a white shirt and tie): You're in luck! We have one!
MrC (under breath, to me): Wow, that car looks like mustard.
le P: I want the mustard car!
Enterprise guy (to me, while surreptitiously glancing at my bare shoulders): You have a cute family. Do you need maps, or suggestions on what to do while you are in the area?
Me (Struggling inside the car with the car-seat): Oh, no, no, we're just going to visit family in... umph... Idaho.
le Petite: We're going to Grandma's house in the mustard car!
Enterprise guy (Leering at the shoulders): Really? Idaho, huh? Where?
MrC: Pocatello.
le Petite: Mama, does Grandma have a mustard car too?
Me: No, baby. Just us.
Enterprise guy: Oh, cuz if you were staying in Salt Lake, I could recommend some great places for you to check out with your family.
Me: Thank you, but I think we're just going to get onto the highway today.
le Petite: We're going to Grandma's house in the mustard car!
Enterprise guy: Ok, well, here's a map of downtown Salt Lake if you change your mind.
Me: Thanks. (Shuts the passenger door, closes eyes, and sighs)

(a few moments later, after finishing the go-around of the car): Do you think he was Mormon?
Me: Uh, duh. Normal people don't wear white shirts and ties in 90-degree heat. Normal people don't "check out" shoulder cleavage. Besides, I could see his Gs.
MrC: Do you think he was gay?
Me: Honey, not everyone is gay.
MrC: That's ok, I didn't think he was that cute anyway.
le Petite: Daddy I'm gay!. . . Are we going to drive in the mustard car now?

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